nut hugger
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
