I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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