Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
home. puking in laundry basket.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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