i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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