But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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