Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm both gender and math confused
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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