ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
