I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
