p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
