i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
