allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
