A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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