Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i think my mom watched the whole time
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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