I just saw a hot homeless man
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
