so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Randomize
