So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize