3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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