I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
