i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize