please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
