Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
