In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
