dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
