dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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