I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
