i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
