That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
