Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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