So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
