It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
