rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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