tell your sister to shave her snatch
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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