I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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