I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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