He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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