I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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