dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
