i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
