sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
