Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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