i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
