a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
