Apparently you make a good broom.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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