i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
