I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
