I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
