He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
