just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize