he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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