AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
