The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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