Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
