I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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