Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
