you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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