she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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