Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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