they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
