Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
