May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
