Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize