my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
